It all seemed to creep up on me, the anxiety over years it grew. I'd been aware of a problem, but it become very apparent, very quickly as soon as I got a job.
I had completed my college course, which I loved, and was due to move (again, I must add I have moved around 13 times) I wanted to try and get a career working with animals, as it was something I'd always wanted. However, I knew in reality that wasn't going to happen straight away. So I got myself a temporary job, woohoo I thought, money, a bit of freedom, meeting new people, I was fairly excited about having my first paid job. But I couldn't ever have expected what was going to come next...
I impressed the managers and worked hard, kind of enjoyed the work, strangely and while I was there it was fine. Only after I had finished did the problems and thoughts begin to flood my head. 'I can't go back' 'I hate it there' 'I'm no good' 'I can't do this or that or this' 'I don't fit in' 'This isn't at all for me'. One morning after working there for only about 3 weeks, I woke up and had an early shift, 7AM start. I hadn't slept the previous night and felt awful. I decided to call in sick, afterwards I was SICK. The emotions going through my head were going crazy, I felt dizzy, my stomach was churning, I was trembling. I knew everyone thought I was being ridiculous but I couldn't go back. I couldn't face it, I couldn't see me wanting to live while I was there. To this day I still don't know why I reacted this way. My anxiety just cracked me.
And from that day on, I have lived by 'Depression/Anxiety is like an egg, it can be beaten!
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