Is this the start, the end or just the middle?

So this is my first blog post! I don't really expect this to go anywhere, I don't expect many people to bother to read, but hey, you never really know what could happen. Why did I want to start a blog? Good question - I wanted to be able to speak out about mental health. I want to be able to raise awareness and hopefully encourage other people to have the strength to speak out. Because I know from experience, that it is bloody difficult!

Mental health effects around 1 in 10 people, it is a topic that no one seems to find easy to face and talk about. But it can be treated, therefore seeking help, advice and treatment is important! No one should be left feeling like they are worthless and have no hope of overcoming their problems.

So what's my problems I bet your all thinking? My problems have been around for a while now, the more I look into it the more I realise I've always been 'different.' I suffer from anxiety and depression, although for me it is my anxiety that makes life hell.

I kept all this inside for many years, I let it chew away at me and get worse, I was embarrassed of what people would think, would I be labelled? Was I just being pathetic? Would it make things worse for me? Did people already notice that I wasn't normal? Until one morning, very recently, I just cracked and was physically sick. I then realised I needed to be open with those close to me. Letting someone in is never easy, it's not going to be. But it certainly helps and you must know your not alone.

I went to my GP and she talked me through some options, I went to a self referral centre where I received CBT, I saw another counsellor too. But then I gave up, because I stupidly thought I knew better. I went pretty much back to square one. A massive, massive mistake on my behalf. It could have cost me my relationship, although thankfully I have an amazing and supportive boyfriend. It could have cost me everything!

The most important thing is being able to admit you have a problem, that's the biggest part.

Nowadays I try telling myself - 'You can do it, deep down you know that.'